


Spilling Sugar

by Sybariticfanfiction (SybariticReyna)



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Is it rly one of my fics if theres not comfort?, M/M, Messy Relationships that become Unmessy, Other, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Syb back at it with the triad fics, gender neutral reader, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21601741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SybariticReyna/pseuds/Sybariticfanfiction
Summary: Shockwave is rescued a little ahead of schedule
Relationships: Shockwave/Reader, Shockwave/Soundwave, Shockwave/Soundwave/Reader, Soundwave/Reader
Comments: 45
Kudos: 249
Collections: Movies





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what up im syb and i love all waves

It’s not rare for you to seek out Megatron, being his “human advisor” and his _friend._ But it is rare for you to seek a _formal_ meeting with Lord Megatron, and that makes you a little nervous. 

You fold your hands behind your back, spine ramrod straight. “Lord Megatron.” You say, looking up, and up, and _up_ to where the warlord sits in his throne. Damn this stupidly tall mech and his stupidly high up throne. 

“Have you come to apologize, organic?” He asks. He’s baiting you, using “organic” instead of your name like he usually does. 

It does its job, inciting anger and hurt that hook and pull on the insides of your ribs. It is… cruel. You take a deep breath and try to remember why you came here in the first place. 

“I will _not_ apologize for prioritizing your wellbeing over an escaping _child_. Nor do I apologize for caring more for my lord than the coordinates.” You say, tilting your chin up proudly. “I would make the exact same decision if given the chance.” 

You might be _too good_ a Decepticon. Or maybe you’re just too good a liar. 

Its true, you were worried for Megatron as the corrupted ship’s paralysis wore off. What is _not quite_ the truth is that you let Jack go because of that worry. You could’ve caught and dragged him back to Megatron before the mech regained his senses, quite easily. 

But he was scared, and something very, very human in you just wanted to reach out and comfort him. 

Instead, you hissed directions and protected him the only way you could, by insisting that Megatron run system diagnostics on himself while you explained, in excruciating detail, what the Dark Energon has done to his ship. 

By the time the two of you made it to the Groundbridge, Knockout was _seething_ and Jack was long gone. 

You took the fall. 

You deserve Megatron’s harshness, but you don’t have to like it. 

“I see no reason to entertain you, then.” Megatron says, motioning for a vehicon. Presumably to scoop you up and throw you back in your habsuite. If they’re merciful they might bring you directly to Soundwave, or invite you too a hangout sesh. 

You hold up your hand in a placating manner. “But!” 

Megatron’s optics narrow. 

“Since I _clearly_ displeased you, I’ve been… trying to figure out a way to make it better. And, um. I remembered something that could— that _will_ help us.” You don’t like messing with the timeline, really. And while this might be selfish, you figure this is _your_ shitty situation to do with what you wish. You didn’t _ask_ to be in Prime, of all universes, or to have weird future not-sight. 

So, fuck it. 

“Soundwave made me a suit able to withstand Cybertron’s… climate. I want to put it to use.” 

Megatron makes a show of leaning back (and you resist the urge to sneer at him). “And what do you hope to find on Cybertron?” 

“I would prefer waiting for confirmation before telling you.” Because really, if you said “I’m bringing your top scientist back home” and then _didn’t_? You might as well go join the Autobots or throw yourself off the Nemesis. 

He pauses, appearing to roll the idea around in his processor like a pearl. “Who will escort you? Surely you cannot survive on your own.” 

Another dig at your humanity. _How original._ Megatron knows how to twist the knife, you’ll give him that. You press forward nonetheless, “Laserbeak, if Soundwave gives the okay. If not, may I borrow a few Vehicons?” 

Soundwave will give you the okay, of course, but going out and saying that feels… presumptuous. Regardless of your feelings for him (feelings that might be reciprocated? _Maybe?_ Hopefully?), you don’t feel comfortable speaking for him. 

“You may. I expect _results._ " Megatron finally says. 

“Oh, I think you’ll find this decision to be most _logical_ , Lord Megatron.” 

* * *

Out of the thousands of rescue scenarios Shockwave ran, none of them included a _tiny_ little armored organic (dressed up in what is clearly Soundwave’s design) perched upon Laserbeak’s back. Behind the two of you is a small contingent of vehicons, all of them anxiously shifting as Shockwave looks them over. Who is their commander? 

Laserbeak wasn’t allowed on solo missions last Shockwave knew, let alone allowed to lead them, but he has been gone for some time. Thinking about his abandonment makes him emotional, irrationally so, and he forces himself to focus on the organic, on _you_ , instead _._ You are an unexpected variable. 

“Shockwave?” You tap the side of your mask and it becomes transparent, revealing a smiling face. Shockwave immediately begins cataloguing everything he can, from your size and proportions to your voice, filtered through what is clearly another of Soundwave’s inventions to allow you to ‘speak’ cybertronian. 

His frantic data gathering is only halted by your followup question of, “You wanna come home?” 

_Home._

What does that mean, nowadays? 

“I told Lord Megatron I’d bring you back to the ship, you know.” You continue heedlessly. Another tap, and the screen becomes dark and reflective, mirroring Soundwave’s. 

(what are you to him, exactly? Another adopted sparkling? Or something… different?) 

He shoves that thought deep in his processor, and asks, “The Nemesis is operable?” 

“Recently damaged, but yes. We’re stationed above a planet called Earth, where I also happen to be from.” You answer, “That’s were the Autobots have holed up.” 

“You are a Decepticon.” He reiterates, the question rather obvious. _How and why?_

You cock your head to the side, “If you’d like to hear the full story, we can wait until after you’ve been reintroduced to Lord Megatron and the others. I imagine questioning Starscream is more important to you than myself.” 

He wants to press the issue, to make you fill in some of the blanks for him as he is want to do, but the mention of Starscream reroutes that urge. “Where is the spacebridge?” 

You motion vaguely, “Just follow us. Vehicons, transform and whatever.” 

Not the most inspiring order, but they don’t seem to mind, and Shockwave is too busy trying to reconcile with the idea _you’re_ their commander to comment.

* * *

_he’s a tank._

_i knew that logically but seeing it firsthand is ????????_

_Big Mech_

**Your rescue mission was a success?**

_so far yeah, but we need to get back to the rendezvous_

_are you excited to see him again?_

**I do not know.**

_Soundwave._

_its okay_

**Is it?**

**When will you need the spacebridge?**

_uhmmmmmm_

_LB says a breem_

_whatever that means_

**More than five minutes, less than ten.**

_super helpful_

**Is that your human sarcasm?**

_wave we both know sarcasm isnt human exclusive_

_Soundwave?_

**The spacebridge will be waiting for you**

_you cant just change the subject bc u cant think of a comeback!!_

* * *

Oh, to perch upon Megatron’s shoulder once again. 

It’s unfair, that after _all_ you went through, he only greets you with that sharp sharp smile of his. 

You brought back his top scientist for fucks sake! You braved the deadly Cybertronian atmosphere! You… yeah, that’s about it. Maybe he would’ve been more impressed if you had to fight off a pack of scraplets or something. 

At least Soundwave seems appreciative. He scoops you off Laserbeak’s back gentle as can be, and you still yourself as he runs diagnostics. On the inside of your own mask, your heart rate, oxygen levels, and core temperature display themselves, along with the power level and armor integrity of the suit itself. 

“I’m _fine._ ” You assure him. “The filter worked wonderfully.” 

Soundwave, to his credit, doesn’t outright _deny_ that, but his digits skirt over a miniscule dent in your calf plating. 

“Laserbeak pinched me a little.” It was a two person affair, truthfully. If you hadn’t moved you leg like that, and he hadn’t attempted a trick, you’d be a-okay. “It doesn’t even hurt, really.” 

Despite the lack of a visible face, you get the distinct feeling Soundwave is glaring at you. 

From his place on the counter, Laserbeak plays back your own voice, saying, “ _Sorry, sorry, sorry! Won’t happen again!_ ” 

“Yeah, ‘wave!” You agree, ignoring your knee jerk want to remind Laserbeak not to use your voice. At least while you’re in the room. 

‘Wave ex vents hard enough to fluff up your hair. “ _Let me check._ ” 

You… don’t know if its honest concern or a desire to put off a one-on-one reunion with Shockwave that motivates him. Maybe it's both. “Fine.” You agree. “ _Then_ will you talk to Shockwave?” 

“ _Maybe._ ”

* * *

Spying on the Spymaster is neither easy not recommended if one values their life. 

Spying on the Spymaster who taught you the tools of the trade and specifically mentioned he was going to go see Shockwave is… still not recommended but neither a breach of personal boundaries or truly dangerous. At most, Soundwave will critique how shamelessly you move the cameras to get better angles. You can’t help it! Soundwave’s biggest tell is his body language. 

Like right now, he’s… happy. 

You watch him play a silent tune on the table separating him from Shockwave, his movements graceful and fluid. Shockwave is rambling about his Predacon Project, stuff you can barely keep up with even with your preexisting knowledge.

Soundwave isn’t particularly well versed or interested in medical sciences himself, but he likes _passion_. He does the same thing when you’re excited and yelling about the things you enjoy. 

Its sweet, in a way you’re still not quite accustomed to. Sometimes it's _too much_ , and you clam up and curse yourself for being _so self centered_. Those’re cruel thoughts, ones that Soundwave would protest in an instant if voiced. 

You wonder if Shockwave gets the same way, or if that’s a _you_ thing. Or if comparing yourself to Shockwave is silly in the first place because you’re you and he’s… 

He’s… 

Soundwave once told you it doesn’t matter to him that you’re so short lived, or that you’re tiny and soft and break easily. It’s not that you don’t believe him. It’s just maybe getting (back) together with Shockwave would be better for him, in the long run. 

Shouldn’t you let him have that? 

Is it selfish? 

You sigh, leaning into your palm as Shockwave continues going on about the difficulties he’s had extracting viable coding from the ancient bones. You wonder if he’d go for a Jurassic Park movie marathon. The frog thing would probably grind his gears like nothing else. And it's not like you have plans for today. 

And Soundwave _has_ been pressuring you to actually talk to Shocker. 

You pick up your “mini mini comm”, clicking on Soundwave’s little icon. Technically, you could call him just as easily, but you prefer texting. 

_hey_

You like seeing Soundwave react to your text on screen. He stops playing the invisible keyboard and straightens up, suddenly alert. Like he’s _excited_ or something, to get a three letter text. 

_ask Shockwave if he’d be down for movie night?_

_pls?_

Soundwave goes out of his way to tilt his mask up at the nearest camera, and you can’t resist adding on, _pretty mech_

**I could give him your frequency instead**

_baaaaaaaaaabe_

On screen, Soundwave turns back to Shockwave. The larger mech falls silent for a beat, and you realize Sound must be messaging him too instead of using recordings or his voice. He’s probably non verbal then, today. 

They converse silently, leaving you to try and decrypt Shockwave’s unfamiliar body language. Most cybertronians fluff out their plating if they’re irritated or startled (the most dramatic are Laserbeak and Starscream), but Soundwave is unnaturally _still_. 

Shockwave doesn’t do either of those things, but you’re still not sure if that’s a good thing. He cocks his head to the side, his singular optic brightening curiously. 

Then he looks right at you. 

You flinch so hard you almost lose your balance, letting out an embarrassingly loud squawk of surprise. “ _Fuck!_ ” 

_He can’t actually see me_ , you remind yourself. 

**He says while he has no interest in movies, he will indulge you.**

_did he rly use the word indulge?_

**You could ask him yourself.**

_you rly want me to talk to him, huh?_

Soundwave taps the side of his mask, and holds up two digits. 

_wait right npw??_

_**now??_

_party time with Shockwave Right Now???_

**Unless you’re busy?**

Damn mech _knows_ you’re not. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sadly i dont think ill be utilizing txting in this fic as much as i did in reciprocated bc ao3 makes it such a PAIN but nonetheless  
> reader is italics  
> soundwave is Bold  
> shockwave is underlined
> 
> warnings!!! uhhh reader spends some time being Knockout's assistant but thats vague at best  
> reader mentions being uncomfy at the beginning of this chapter and i wanna just remind everyone that this'll be a 100% consensual and loving polyamorous triad, theyre just still working out the kinks!! no need to worry

If you had to name the feeling that settles into your chest upon seeing your… seeing _Soundwave_ cuddled up against Shockwave, you’d call it “vaguely left of jealous”. 

Cybertronians aren’t like humans, they don’t _casually_ cuddle. They’re a social species, sure, but their bodies aren’t made for cuddles. It takes a surprising amount of energy to get in a position wherein everyone is comfortable. 

(the first time you leaned onto a vehicon during a friendly gaming competition he looked at you like you hung the stars, and you rather abruptly realized 1) the majority of your friends are very touch starved 2) it meant something much _more_ to him than it did to you, something precious) 

So, for Soundwave to cuddle, its… _special._

You stop dead in your tracks, all thoughts of movie night and needing to get snacks for next time flung out the proverbial window.

_Oh._

Well. 

Soundwave lifts a single servo in your general direction, his mask displaying the word “Movie?”. 

Right. “Yup!” You say, faux cheerful. “Do you two need anything before we settle down or…?” It feels like a dumb question given that they are so _clearly_ settled, but it’d be rude not to ask. 

Shockwave resets his optic, and you don’t know him well enough to say what _that_ means, but Soundwave is easy, at least. He makes a vague grabby motion, and you almost automatically move to meet him. 

Spindally, oh-so-gentle digits wrap themselves around you, supporting your weight with apparent ease. It's your own voice that asks, “ _Sit with us?_ ” 

The not-jealousy loosens its hold on your heart. “It would be my pleasure.” 

Soundwave tilts his head in a way you’re almost completely convinced means he’s smiling, and sets you down on his chassis, making it easy for you to get comfortable. As you do, you open up your stockhoard file of 100% illegal various music, movies, and games. You always tell yourself you’ll properly sort it, but as of yet, you just haven’t gotten around to it. 

“Hey, Shock, you got any preferences?” You ask curiously. You already know Soundwave’s, with his strange affection for rock and techno music and what netflix would call Family Movies. He also claims to like romances, but lack of communication and unnecessary drama grind his gears something _fierce._ Sometimes he’ll just turn the movie off if they fuck around too much. You’re usually caught somewhere between annoyance and amazement. 

“I am unfamiliar with the categories.” Shockwave says, sharp and precise. 

“Genre.” You correct. “It’s basically the same thing but genre is proper.” 

“Synonyms are difficult to translate.” Shockwave answers. He doesn’t _sound_ embarrassed, but you’ve been around cybertronians long enough to get a vague sense of their EM fields. You used to think it was just intuition, but after talking to Knockout about it, you realized that’s only a part of it. 

“I know,” You assure him, careful not to seem patronizing. “Lots of mechs have have that same complaint. It doesn’t help that English just. does not make sense.” You could ramble about _that_ for quite some time, but instead you click on Jurassic Park. “Speaking of things that don’t make sense…” 

Shockwave makes it ten minutes and thirty five seconds before he protests the _illogical, under researched nonsense_.

You can’t _wait_ to show him the history channel. 

* * *

Is it rude to the Predacon that you shamelessly used him as an excuse to get Shockwave alone? 

Perhaps. But you do provide him with well deserved scritches as Shockwave repairs the minor damage he sustained during his skimmish with the Autobots. They were, understandably, _quite_ shocked to come face-to-face with a Predacon. Ratchet and that obnoxious Wrecker might’ve had a chance against _just_ Soundwave, but with a dragon? 

It was _laughable._

And you avoided Laserbeak being downed, which filled you with a special kind of pride. The mechanimal was all too happy, if not a little confused, to be showered with kisses upon his safe return.

Predacon seems pleased too, leaning into your hands rather ineffectively. You can only pet so much with your comparatively tiny hands. “Who's a sweetspark?” You coo.

Shockwave pauses in his gravel removal. “It is doubtful the Predocon understands your… sweet talk.” He sounds pained by the words ‘sweet talk’.

You shrug, “It’s the thought that counts. And even if he doesn’t understand the words,” your voice dips into something softer, sweeter, “ _tone can get the point across, can’t it, darling_?”

As if on command, the Predacon lets out a rumbling growl that shakes the floor underneath you.

Shockwave makes a staticky noise that abruptly cuts off, and you wonder if he shut off his vocalizer.

You nearly giggle at the thought. _You_ flustering _Shockwave._ Now that’s something you’d love to see.

He abruptly begins picking pieces of rock out of the Predacon again, and you take that as a cue to play distraction. While you’re 100% certain the Predacon is smarter than any pet you’ve ever heard of, he takes the bait.

His strange purring sets you at ease too, which helps you calm down enough to ask, “Shockwave? Do we have to talk?”

“Unclear.”

“About Soundwave and how… _we_ fit into that.” How goddamn bizarre it is to be talking about a relationship you haven’t totally pinned down with someone in the same boat _with the same person_.

Shockwave doesn’t pause in his ministrations, but he does ask, “Do you foresee our relationship causing problems?”

 _Oh_ , you want to be so mad that he assumed you’re here because of your shared _cause_ rather than shared love, but you can’t summon up more than mild surprise and amusement. How clueless can one mech be? “That’s not what I’m getting at. I meant. Are _you okay_? with me being with Soundwave while you’re… what are you doing? Courting him?”

The Predacon nudges at you when you stop petting him for a moment, distracting you from anxiously awaiting Shockwave’s response. “So _needy._ ” You mock-scold.

“He doesn’t act that way with other Decepticons.” Shockwave informs you.

“He _loooves_ me.” You laugh. You nuzzle him as best you can given the massive size difference.

His answering rumble shakes you to the core, and almost completely overshadows Shockwave’s question. “Does Soundwave?”

Shockwave has such a way of taking you off guard.

You stutter out a “ _What_?” Before your head catches up with the question and you say, “I don’t— I. I’m not. Okay with talking for Soundwave. Like that.”

Shockwave’s EM field _buzzes_ with approval.

“But… I _love_ him, very much, Shockwave. And I want him to be happy.” You want _so much_ for him, but that’s the simplest way to explain it. “What do you want?”

Shockwave is as monotone as ever, even when he says, “The same. Once, I thought only the end of this war would permit happiness.”

He doesn’t expand on that thought, and you don’t push it. You just continue petting the Predacon, until Shockwave dismisses the both of you. The Predacon is only too happy to stretch out, talons digging into the floor and back arching like a cat’s. 

“Can he fly?” You ask.

Shockwave, apparently already used to your patented Nonsense and aware of what you’re getting at, replies, “Affirmative. Do not overextend.”

The Predacon snarls in excitement, and you laugh. “Come on. Let’s take a victory lap.” 

(you come back smiling, despite the tear tracks on your face, and Shockwave makes a note that next time, you should wear your armor. Even if you look _disarmingly_ pretty like this, and he has never found organics aesthetically pleasing) 

* * *

_yo Shocker!!!_

Soundwave gave you my comm. 

_yeah_

_Sound’s busy, u need any help?_

u.

you.

_yeah_

_u dont rly need periods either this is a casual mssg thread_

u could help with rewiring 

_be there in a klik_

* * *

**What will it take for you to stop teaching Shockwave shorthand**

_there is not a force on the earth_

**I am not of this Earth.**

_alsjdlajshs yeah and ily_

* * *

_group chat!!!!_

**Why**

convenience 

_and memes_

when will u be back on the nemisis 

_uhhhhh idk probably l8r tongiht or tomorrow_

_**tonight_

_why?_

the predacon misses u 

he does not run at optimal condition without your encouragement 

illogical as that is

**Only the Predacon?**

_Oh??????_

_whatre u implying Sound_

**< 3**

_u cant say cryptic shit and weasel out of explaining by being cute_

_ <3 _

what is that? 

you both utilize that symbol

_its a heart!_

_like ur spark_

_it's a symbol of affection_

I see 

<3 

_!!!!!!!!_

* * *

“So, what are you _doing,_ exactly?”

You glance over at Knockout curiously, your hands buried in an unconscious vehicons internals. “Uh. Surgery?”

“Not that, we both know you could repair that in your sleep.” _Not true,_ but you don’t bother to correct him. “I meant with the ‘waves.” He motions listlessly, waving his oversized saw around in circles. You might’ve been intimidated by that, at one time, but as much as he loves bemoaning your humanity, Knockout has no interest in vivisecting you.

You feel like you _know_ where this conversation is headed, but you still feel the need to ask, “What about them?”

He gives you a smile that’s _hardly_ friendly, “Don’t play dumb.”

“We’re… we’re working it out, I think.” Maybe. Definitely, if Soundwave has anything to say about it. “It’s just… When I became a Decepticon I didn’t think _anyone_ would be interested in me like that, let alone that he would come with _another_ mech who doesn’t seem… averse to the idea.”

You really shouldn’t be discussing this _right now,_ but you’re pretty sure if you fuck up too bad Knockout will drop his weird interrogation act and tell you how to fix it.

Then again, maybe this particular vehicon pissed him off and a shoddy patch job is just what the doctor ordered. Nothing _fatel_ , of course, but enough to be annoying until he crawls back into the good doctors good graces. You wouldn't put it past him. 

Knockout makes a noise you can’t explain in human terms, like a cross between a snort and an engine backfiring. “Which means?”

You growl, “I don’t have any _plans!_ I mean, I, I _see the future!_ That’s my whole thing! But I messed it all up.” Things are already changing!

(and, a small part of you will admit that it's easier to freak out over the future of the ‘cons than the future of our own romantic endeavors) 

Knockout falls silent for a beat, and you look up to see him frowning. “Ugh, no, don’t tell me about that. I want to know what they’re _like_ . This is gossip-time, not… _bonding._ I need highgrade for that.” He says. “You must know _something_ interesting by now, right?” 

It takes you a second to figure out what he’s getting at. “ _Oh._ Okay. So. Did you know Shockwave is ticklish?” 

“ _He is?_ ” Knockout abruptly goes from barely engaged to _glowing_ with interest, and you cover your laughter with a cough. 

“You should’ve seen him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3cccccc
> 
> does my affection of Predaking show thru?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo :3c are y'all ready for a Shockwave centric update?? 
> 
> Warnings for light angst & mentions of dissociation,, although that sequence focuses more on grounding techniques than the actual dissociation   
> In this house we stan comfort & supporting loved ones

Laserbeak knows how to greet people. 

Far be it from you to complain about how the others say hello, but there’s something special about how Laserbeak deploys just to wrap you up in his wings, his plating fluffed with excitement. 

“Hello, darling,” You hum, long since accustomed to the feeling of living metal wrapping itself around you. Strange how that works. 

Laserbeak uses a recording you don't recognize to respond, " _ Hello, hello, hello! _ " 

Darling, darling, baby. You tilt your face up to kiss the side of his "face", cooing endearments and absently thinking you could stay here for eons. 

The thing that brings you back to the present is the sound of Shockwave's voice. "Do they always… embrace in such a manner?" 

" _ We love each other! _ " Soundwave answers with your voice. 

You lift your head to glare at him, "Sound." 

He makes a vaguely apologetic motion with one servo. 

You want to add onto that, but Laserbeak draws you back in with a mock purr. You giggle at the sound. " Sweetheart ." 

" _ Missed you _ ." Laserbeak responds. " _ No fun without you _ ." 

You vaguely recall Ratchet referring to Beaky as a  _ drone _ , and feel something twist underneath your ribs. 

You don't regret leaving them for a second. 

The children, you do. But the Autobots themselves are another story entirely. 

Laserbeak coos your name, his face plates digging into your shoulder. He's much more bird than mech, but you don't mind. 

The words  _ I love you _ get stuck in your throat, so you wrap your arms around his neck as best you can. 

You can hear Shockwave asking, "Is there a purpose to their bonding?" But you don't pay him too much attention. 

You  _ do _ take notice when Soundwave scoops both you and his son up. You make a strange, completely involuntary, yelping noise, while Laserbeak squawks, the both of you displeased by this change. 

" _ Sound-- _ " You begin, planning an award worthy diatribe about  _ asking  _ before manhandling the delicate human, only to be interrupted by a low rumbling from Shockwave. 

His frame is trembling, single optic dimmed as if his eye is closed. 

_ Oh. _

The noise he's making makes the hair on your arms stand up, simultaneously  _ completely alien _ and recognizable as laughter. 

Soundwave hums something in cybertronian, and you honestly cannot decide whether to focus on him or Shockwave. Any other day it would be the easiest choice in the world, but… Shockwave.  _ Laughing. _

_ Huh.  _

* * *

Your last "oh fuck, I'm crushing on an alien" freak out lasted approximately ten minutes, before Megatron got tired of your pacing and demanded you "go play with the vehicons". Turns out, said vehicons give very good romantic advice. 

Also turns out they're terrible and have a betting pool on "Time It Takes For The Human And TIC To Interface". Which. Is just  _ the worst, _ and you made that very clear to them. 

(That has not stopped them, and you've long since given up)

Your  _ current _ "oh fuck, I'm crushing on an alien" is pushing thirty six hours, and frankly even you're getting tired. 

"Aaaaaaaa _ aaaaaaa. _ " You whisper-yell, rolling over in bed. Or berth, you guess is the word. 

Soundwave is blessedly absent, and unaware of your time out, but despite being all out of sorts, you couldn't bare to leave the Nemesis so soon after your last trip. In many ways, this is your home now. 

Still. Sound will probably be back  _ soon _ , and you'll have to try and resist attempting to kiss him long enough to actually discuss… whatever it is. 

You're… dating. Soundwave. You  _ think _ , but cybertronian/human relationships are uncharted territory, let alone those of a romantic nature, and that makes hashing out the details surprisingly difficult. 

Also, Soundwave is selectively mute, and while you'll  _ never _ shame him for it, it  _ does  _ leave things… vague. What if you're blowing things out of proportion? What if… what if he doesn't  _ actually _ like you the way you think he does, the way his servos and affectionate touches imply? 

Anxiety worms its way into your heart, leaving you stressed and uncomfortable. 

_ What if, what if, what if??? _ could go on forever, you know, but you can't help yourself. 

Maybe. You need a distraction. 

Or maybe you need a concrete  _ answer.  _

* * *

_ hey _

**Good morning.**

hey? 

where r u? 

_ still in the berth room  _

**Ours?**

_ yeah ofc Sound _

_ why do u ask Shocker?  _

r u ill?

_ nah _

_ well. sort of  _

_ can we talk?  _

yes. 

about anything in particular?

_ … _

_ … _

_ nah _

_ just wanna hang out _

_ wanna watch shitty television?  _

**He always does**

* * *

Shockwave hates the word "dissociation". Mostly, you think, because he experiences it more often than not. 

It doesn't take you or Soundwave all that long to notice it, although you're sure there's times he slips through the cracks. You have friendships to maintain, and Soundwave has work to do. 

Still, you help when you can. 

Currently, you're stretched across Shockwave's chassis, allowing him to run a single digit down your spine as he tries to describe his lab back on Cybertron. Asking for a place that brings him comfort was fruitless, so you settled for "somewhere you were safe". 

He doesn't seem to understand the point of the exercise but he's diligent about it anyway, drawing a detailed but cold mental image for you. 

"I scavenged for… years." He says, audibly stumbling over the human measurement. "It was much harder than anticipated, given my optic damage." 

"She's on Earth, you know." You hum.

"The femme who shot me?" Shockwave presses a little too hard on your lower back, making you squirm uncomfortably. He lets up surprisingly fast, offering, "Apologies." 

"You break my spine I could  _ die _ . Or become paralyzed." You tell him. 

Shockwave cocks his head to the side curiously. "You do not sound distressed." 

You shrug. "Sorta used to giant aliens underestimating or just forgetting how delicate I am." 

He resets his optic, and its  _ bright  _ when it comes back online. With how much time you spend with Soundwave, you almost forgot they can do that. "You… You seek to comfort myself and the other Deceptions." He says. 

It wasn't a question, but you confirm, "Yes?" 

"You cannot do that if you are not well." 

…

You wait for him to expand on that thought for a good thirty seconds before realizing. He stares you down all the while. 

"...Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll try and take better care of myself." 

"Establish boundaries." He nods, servo returning to its idle petting. "This is safe?"

"Just don't press too hard." Knock Out once left digit shaped bruises on your ribs, and you thought Soundwave was going to tear his armor off piece by piece. The doctor cancelled your usual hang out sessions for almost a week afterwards, and when you resumed he knew a weird amount of human anatomical facts. 

Shockwave's engine kicks on a little louder than normal, and you have the grace not to mention it. Instead, you ask, "Feeling better?" 

"I didn't feel  _ bad _ . I felt. Nothing." He corrects. 

You huff a laugh. "Do you feel  _ okay _ , now?" 

"...Content."

_ Good _ . Satisfaction bubbles up in your throat, and you smile. "You wanna stay here for a while, or do you need to work?" 

He ex-vents a sigh. "Soundwave will alert us if we are needed." 

You like that plural. 

* * *

The most efficient way to get accustomed to ones holoform, according to Doc Knock, is to 1) use it 2) have whatever species you're "mimicking" on hand for comparison. 

Which leads to your current… Endeavor. 

Shockwave's holo grips your hand so tight the knuckles turn white as you weave through crowds of people scrambling to get from store to store. Soundwave trails behind the two of you, her own hands weighted with various purchases. She's content with watching, for now. 

"Okay, so, next one the list is Breakdown, and I thought Dick's would be our best bet, right?" 

" _ What _ ." Shockwave looks alarmed. 

"It's a sporty store." You explain. 

"I thought…" 

You're  _ well aware _ of what they thought, and have to fight to keep a straight face. "It can mean either. Context is important." 

" _ Synonyms _ ." They're surprisingly emotive in holoform, lips curling back in disdain. 

"I think when two words sound the same but mean different things they're homonyms." You're not 100% sure though. Maybe there's yet another word for that? 

Shockwave is visibly disgusted, but doesn't otherwise respond. 

"After this we can go to the tattoo parlor, if you want." You offer. 

The idea of piercings is  _ fascinating  _ to your local Deceptions, and after explaining that you've already got piercings, you offered to let them pick out new studs for you. 

Shockwave wanted to see it actually done, but you talked him down. _Don't know how that'll affect the holoform_ and _I've already done mine_. Eventually, you promised that if you get any cartilage piercings, you'll be sure to bring him along. 

Shockwave's smile is almost as pretty as Soundwave's. 

* * *

You realize you're in love, or. At least  _ in deep like _ with Shockwave when you find him in recharge, cuddled up against the Predacon on the floor. His head is tilted back, neck cables stretched in a way that you can't imagine is truly  _ comfortable _ , but the rest of his frame is as lax as you've ever seen. 

The mechanical dragon's optics land on you the moment you step into the lab, as if he's guarding the scientist he's curled around. 

"Hey." You whisper. "Can I join?" 

The Predacon gives a toothy approximation of a smile, and you take that as acceptance. 

The Predacon shifts just enough to scoops you up in one of his clawed servos and set you back down on Shockwave's shoulder. The purple mech doesn't stir except to move a little closer to your warmth, and the Predacon soothes the both of you with a low purr. 

It is surprisingly easy to fall asleep like this, you find. 

(Soundwave finds the three of you just like that, and teases you  _ mercilessly  _ with photos of it) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like out of all 'cons (and cybertronians in general tbh), Shockwave would be one of the least disgusted by human stuff? Esp since in addition to being a scientist he's not exactly squeamish? 
> 
> Annnnnyways. I debated back and forth whether or not Breakdown would be dead in this timeline & in the end I decided against it given Reader's warning ability? I can't imagine KOBD would totally ignore something like that. 
> 
> On a more personal note my birthday is coming up quick!!! January fifteen y'all!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for vague injuries and Sugary Sweetness

Things that once triggered your fight or flight instinct can become… _alarmingly_ familiar. You wouldn't go as far as to say _comforting_ , but nonetheless. 

The sight of glowing red optics doesn't make your heart race anymore, even half asleep and hazey. One of his digits is poking at your side, the sharp edge softened by your thick comforter. 

"Morning, _sweetspark._ " He says, voice quieter than usual. A small mercy, given the circumstances. 

"Fuck off, Knockout." You swat at him half heartedly, "'m _tired._ " 

He glances at the doorway, like he's considering it. "Shockwave is back." 

You don't process that statement, not _fully._ It's good, right? You've missed him, even though he's only been gone a few days. "He is?"

"Yeah. So-- Soundwave wanted you to know." Knockout doesn't _stutter_ , and the first inkling that _something is wrong_ begins to form. 

"I'll… go see him when I'm--" _Wait._ Why is Knockout here in the first place? 

It's not. Instant. You're not _immediately_ awake, but you force yourself upright and hiss, "Where is he?" anyways. 

Knockout winces. "He's resting. I-- I'm not completely sure what happened, _something_ involving scraplets, but I repaired him." 

You go through several scenarios at once, all of them _wretched_ and none of them accurate, probably. 

"The-- was is the Autobots?" You glance down at yourself, deciding in less than a second you don't actually give a fuck about _proper clothing._

"Can't imagine anyone else tricking Shockwave like that." Knockout offers you his closest servo, and if the situation were different you'd probably marvel at how well he knows you. 

"Is, uh. Is he gonna be okay? Why didn't someone come get me immediately?" _Oh gods_ , _what if you missed everything?_

What a fucking time to _sleep._

Knockout frowns. "He said you only went to bed a few hours ago." 

"We were texting." You confirm. Something soft curls around the worry in your chest. "He-- he was excited about the bones they found. More Predacons." 

Knockout's hold on you shifts ( _another_ thing you know you should be scared of, but you trust him not to drop you), and he uses his thumb to rub soothing circles between your shoulder blades. He's a little too hard, and the motion is very mechanical, but… you appreciate it. 

"He wanted to do the repairs himself." He says. "He's… I wouldn't dare call him _scared_ -" 

"But he is." You hum. You know exactly why he'd want to do it himself, given his trust issues and… and _everything_ that comes with being on your own so long. You can't imagine what he went through. 

The medicine digs his digit in a little harder. "Soundwave wanted to tell you. Never wanna be caught between the two of them ever again." 

To break the tension, you joke, "I cannot relate _._ "

It startles a laugh out of him, at least. " _Gross._ I don't-- well. As a medic I'm curious, but as a mech…" 

"You wouldn't _ever_ date a human?" You ask. The two of you are nearing the medbay now, and this is a good distraction from your rising anxiety. 

"I wouldn't say never. I like you well enough, so clearly _some_ humans aren't disgusting little monsters." 

"Monsters?" 

"But--" he continues heedlessly, "--I am happy with Breakdown." Getting Knockout to speak earnestly about his _gross romantic feelings_ is like pulling teeth, but you'd do it over and over to see him smile _like that._

"Awwww," You coo. "Sweetspark." 

* * *

Things that were once idle fantasies can become alarmingly _necessary_ . Shockwave wouldn't ever, _will never_ , actually need anyone other than himself, but… 

He wakes up find Soundwave curled up as best he can manage at his side, and a human resting on his chassis. 

And he _feels._

He feels _awake,_ and _alive,_ and _in love._ He feels safe, despite his still healing wounds, and he feels warm in a way completely independent to his internal temperature. 

He feels you wiggle into a comfier position, and he feels Soundwave try to press closer, and he feels like he could stay here for ages, just like this. 

You're not asleep like Soundwave, but you don't notice Shockwave's awakening, nor his subsequent Moment. 

He watches you scroll through something or another on your tiny datapad, your face pulled into an exhausted frown. 

"Knockout?" You call, voice low. The medic doesn't respond, and you huff in annoyance. "Off with Breakdown." 

If he were a more tender mech, or someone poetic like Megatron, Shockwave might have something to say about how spending time with one's Conjunx is always time well spent, or that if Knockout gets to shirk work for his sparkmate _clearly_ Shockwave deserves double that. 

But he's _not,_ so all he offers is, "Good morning." 

You jump, the datapad falling into your lap. "Wh-- _Shockwave._ " You _launch yourself_ at him, scrambling to press yourself against the glass of his optic. It doesn't hurt, he has very few sensors there, and he knows if he had an actual faceplate it'd be _different_. He wonders if Soundwave sometimes resents his mask for the same reason. 

"You had me _so worried_." You say between gifting him with feather light kisses. 

"Apologies." His servo is pinned down by Soundwave's bulk, and he regrets being unable to hold you. 

He _could_ try to use his holoform, but he hasn't had near enough practice to control both forms. Soundwave can, however sparingly. He likes recording with his true form while his holo interacts with you. The amount of time you've apparently spent _dancing,_ of all things, is absurd. 

(Shockwave would calculate the specifics, but he's tired and you're… distracting) 

You laugh, but it comes out like a sob. "Also, it's not morning. It's mid afternoon. Have you run your diagnostics again yet?" 

Shockwave hums. "I was… preoccupied." 

You raise an eyebrow. "...bad preoccupied? Or good?" 

It still startles him, how much you care about _good and bad_ , about comforting him when it's bad, celebrating when it's good. He's _Shockwave._ No one, sans Soundwave, has ever cared about that before. And even with Soundwave, they're both private mechs, and none of this nonsense left the berth room. 

But you, you're so open about it. 

Some cynical part of him reminds him that you're like this with everyone, including Knockout, Lord Megatron himself, the vehicons & the insecticons, even _Starscream_ on occasion. Soft words from the softest of Decepticons. 

But you don't kiss any of them. 

"Good." He replies. "Waking up to you and Soundwave is--" there are _millions_ of words (amazing, wonderful, divine, warm, _perfect_ ), but all he says is, "Optimal." 

_For Primus' sake._

You smile like he's not the least romantic mech on the planet. Or, above the planet, although he doesn't know that specification is necessary. 

"I like waking up to you too." You say. "You and Soundwave." 

And that feels _right_ , when you say it. 

* * *

Things that were once as easy as ex-venting can become alarmingly _difficult,_ when one cares.

Soundwave silently watches you and Shockwave chit-chat, his human sparkmate and his (almost) conjunx endura, and he feels guilt curl around his spark. 

He _knows_ he should've informed you the instant Shockwave comm'd for an emergency spacebridge. He thought about it, and when he saw Shockwave's state he thought about it _more_ , but Shock said no. _Don't bother the organic, they're exhausted._

And he's _good_ at withholding information. It's his _job._ He has never felt particularly guilty about it either. 

But he _knew_ you would've wanted to be informed immediately, even at the cost of sleep. 

But Shockwave with his insistence upon being independent said _no_ , and he couldn't just. Ignore that. 

You run your hands over Shockwave's bare armor and say, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to hold your servo," and Soundwave's spark aches. 

Shockwave's optic is overbright, his 'field trying _very hard_ to press against you. To let you feel it, the lovely mess of emotions. 

"Oh! Maybe you-- _we_ could do something with your paint job? So something fun could come out of this whole mess?" 

" _I swear he's had the same paint color since before the war_." Knockout's voice drawls from Soundwave's speakers. 

You glance over at him with a startled smile. "He has? Also, good morning?" 

"Not morning," Shockwave says, deadpan as ever. It must be some kind of joke though, because you giggle into your palm. 

"So sorry, so sorry," You say, and Soundwave saves that clip, because he knows he'll need it. If not for himself, then for Shockwave. 

You lean forward to kiss Shockwave's optic, casual as can be ( _something fun, something good out of this mess_ , he thinks). 

"You too, come here." You say, looking to the smaller mech. "We need to talk later but..." You don't seem pleased by the idea. 

Soundwave expected as much. He obliges your request, and you kiss his mask gentle as ever. 

Then you glance between the two of them, expectant and inquisitive. Eyes gleaming. 

Soundwave laughs. " _May I?_ " He knows you don't like him using your voice, but in this case it seems appropriate. 

Shockwave nods, his finials swiveling. "Although such behavior is _unacceptable_ in a medbay, you may."

You're mumbling about rhyming as Soundwave leans in to 'kiss' Shockwave. It's less about the physical closeness in their case, and more about brushing 'fields, but you seem to like the visual. And making the _both_ of you happy at the same time is… good. 

You voice has gone soft when they pull back, "Hey, 'wave?" 

They both hum.

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a slow burn? It feels slow to me, but I'm not sure. I have a little bit of a headstart on the next chapter bc I wasn't going to end it Here but I rly love the I love you...... 
> 
> I promise this is not an angsty fic but I did tag messy relationships so. Next chapter they'll be Talking in addition to being sappy lovesick idiots.
> 
> I miss leaving funfacts at the end of chapters so here:::  
> \--Shockwave gives Sound a hard time for smooching in the medbay bc He Knows Better while Reader Clearly Does Not.  
> \--Knockout mentioning that he'd Maybe, Possibly, be interested in a human is a shameless reference to one of my other fics  
> \--If you're trying to figure out what canon ep this is a reference to, it isn't one!! Which is why Reader had no idea it was going to happen!  
> \--Shockwave's favorite color is Reader's armor. What color is that? Idk. u tell me

**Author's Note:**

> two things. 1 Soundwave and Shockwave used to date (and they will once again ofc) & 2 readers mentioned knowledge is basically: everything yall know, reader knows. how? idk. might explain that in a later chapter. might leave it up to u.


End file.
